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John Mulaney's Quotes

John Mulaney profile photo

Born: 1982-08-26
Profession: Comedian
Nation: American
Biography of John Mulaney

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John Mulaney's quote #5

All my money is in a savings account. My dad has explained the stock market to me maybe 75 times. I still don't understand it.

Tags: Dad, Money, Understand

The more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time.

Tags: Fail, Stuff, Time

You can do good work simply staying up all night and eating nothing but junk food, but probably not in the long term.

Tags: Food, Good, Work

You can't always see both sides of the story. Eventually, you have to pick a side and stick with it. No more equivocating. You have to commit.

Tags: Both, Side, Story

As I got into high school and after puberty, I was a little more inward. I was a real extrovert when I was little, but I don't know, I just got quieter... With my friends, I was still an extrovert.

Tags: Friends, Real, School

Going on the road for long stretches can seem daunting, and I certainly miss being home sometimes, but the chance to see so many different cities, let alone perform in them, is something I am really grateful for.

Tags: Alone, Home, Sometimes

I like making fun of myself a lot. I like being made fun of, too. I've always enjoyed it. There's just something really, really funny about someone tearing into me.

Tags: Fun, Funny, Someone

I plan to join the 'SNL' band as a maraca player and stand behind saxophonist Lenny Pickett. That way they will at least cut to me before commercial breaks. I'll be sure to look right into camera.

Tags: Plan, Stand, Sure

Stand-up for me is just my opinions on things, so it wouldn't be as fun translated into a sketch. Nor would a sketch be as fun if it were me standing there saying it.

Tags: Fun, Opinions, Saying

The difficulty of getting a movie made through a major studio is so extreme that when a movie comes out, everyone should give it four stars because it was accomplished.

Tags: Everyone, Give, Stars

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John Mulaney's quote #5
John Mulaney's quote #5